The Road Goes Ever On

I will be shutting down Advice Over Pie and focusing solely on Buff Beads and a sister project.

The foundation of AOP and the path it has created is beautiful and raw, but it comes from pain. It’s roots are deep in suffering. I was sick with Ulcerative Colitis and tortured by my past.
I am not that person anymore.

Grace warms me and by remaining connected to my source the ego is kept at bay.

I am healthy and mentally strong.  Memories of the past that shamed and tortured my mind and sickened my body no longer haunt me. But, there are many that are suffering the effects of a lack of self-worth and destructive self-talk. And I want to empower them and I want to be empowered.

I want to help people see their inner strength and beauty and I want to be reminded of mine.

I love to see those who fail get back up and try again. I get a rush from watching people better themselves, because it reminds me to continue to do the same.

I LOOOVE those of you who own your shit. Oh my god! It turns me on. Vulnerability is friggin’ hot. It fills me with courage and inspires me to do what I love and to be myself no matter how scary it is.

I want to build a powerful group of misfit people who don’t really fit anywhere, but want to better themselves and spread love throughout a crazy dark world.

I just can’t do it from Advice Over Pie.

Buff Beads isn’t going anywhere. I believe so hard core in the power of buffing that I will be preaching the positive effects of self-talk and love forever and always. This is my truth. Please join us there and like the Buff Beads fb page.

Thank you all very much for all the support and the love. You’ve allowed me to be vulnerable and awkward as I made my way through painful gauntlet of healing and awakening.

UGH! That’s so dramatic!
I’m feeling quite melancholy about this. I’m not sure why. I feel like this is what Advice Over Pie does to me. It’s like my writing has this tone that screams “I’m suffering!” or one that is yelling at you guys to “better yourself for fuck’s sake”.  I wanna shed both those tones. Or not so dramatic like anyway. Or maybe MORE dramatic where it’s so obvious it’s dramatic it makes you laugh.
I am really excited about what is to come. I am creating a new path. This time I’m not alone.

To say goodbye to AOP in her emo melancholy, I’m going to post on FB old writings from start to finish. You’re not obligated to read them. In fact it’s probably best you don’t. It’s kind of embarrassing, but It’s a way for me to let it go and say good bye.

I love you!!

A Little Ditty

I wanted share with you this memory that came up on my personal Facebook account. It’s a fabulous fun memory and a great “How’d you two meet?” story. Our tale is a reminder for me to be thankful for my past. The good and all that bad. If it hadn’t gone exactly as it did we would have never met and our lives would not be as they are now. (Debating on where to hang our new Sauron picture while drinking Caesar’s on a Saturday afternoon.) Life is good.

Please have faith my sweet friends. Move with the flow of the Universe through your pain and through your joy. Trust that you are worthy of the great things ahead and that you are so very loved.

 

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Stop Hitting Yourself

Have you ever had someone take your hand and then forcefully start beating you in the face with it? It’s a very unnatural and unpleasant feeling, not to mention it really hurts. We’re not meant to hurt ourselves with our own limbs and we’re not meant to hurt ourselves with our own words or thoughts.

I worked and lived with a woman who made my life miserable. She showed kindness and compassion to everyone she came across, but she loved to pick on me. Any mistake I made I was told how stupid I was. She knew all my secrets and loved to remind me of my most shameful memories. She was relentless in making me feel undeserving off all the greatness in my life. As soon as I got up in the morning she was there telling me I was lazy because I didn’t get up earlier to work out. She was sweet as pie to everyone else, yet she made me feel unworthy, unlovable and made me sick. This beast of a woman wasn’t a co-worker, spouse, sibling or parent, she was me.

How would it feel to know that others could hear your self-talk? Would you allow someone to speak to you the way you speak to yourself?
By becoming aware of the quality of our words we can change how we see ourselves and ultimately how others see us. Positive words whether to yourself or to another lead to a positive self-worth.
Treat yourself with the kindness and compassion as you would any other. Be aware of the words the follow “I am”. They are very powerful.

Buff Beads are a simple reminder to be aware of your self-talk. They are used as a reminder of the importance of treating ourselves with the same respect as we would another. Buff Beads are a tool used in every day life to be sure that we are treating the most important person to us (ourselves) with the up most respect.

Buff Yourself!

My friend myself

Our Star Studded Adventure Filled 2015

“Sometimes, we are so attached to our way of life that we turn down wonderful opportunities simply because don’t know what to do with it.”
— Paulo Coelho 

I can without a doubt say that 2015 was my busiest, healthiest, most adventurous year of my life. 

This year I learned that adventures are adventures because there are unknowns.Opportunities arise that are not ideal, but may contain potential adventures. If I’m putting out to The Universe my desires for great feelings and fun then I better damn well jump on every opportunity that arises. I’ve been a spoiled child of God for too long. Crying and whining that my life isn’t the way I want it and then when change arises to make good things happen I would resist it and freak out because of the temporary discomfort. My soul wants adventure and this year was full of it.

2015 began with a whirlwind mother daughter Disneyland adventure in January.

On the plane to one adventure with Abby, David told me that he had just planned us another. He just purchased tickets to TheOneRing.net annual Lord of The Rings Oscar Party in just three weeks time. It would be a once in a lifetime opportunity to meet those involved in the making of the films. It was to be another quick trip to Los Angeles. Second one in less than a month. But, five hours before our star studded event, we received a call that David’s 94 year old father had passed away.  Our trip was extended for a week as David’s parents lived only an hour and half from LA.

My father in law was one of the greatest men on this planet. I am blessed to have gotten to know him. I spent hours watching The Price is Right with him and listening to his stories of gambling off the coast of Los Angeles with Bugsy Siegel before he was born again and became one of the first missionaries to visit New Guinea. The man had so many adventures and was a beautiful spirit.

Our Oscar party was a blur. It wouldn’t be the first time this year that my expectations would nearly ruin an experience.  We had gone fully believing that we would be amongst our people. Fellow lovers of the film and of Professor Tolkien’s work. I believed that we would leave with new life long friends and a feeling of belonging. I can’t fully explain to you what it was like, because I’m still processing it a year later. Maybe it was the news of my father in laws death just hours before or maybe it was the Middle Earth New Zealand wine, but it was not what we had expected.

But, I would not have changed that experience. We were able to tell both the Producer of the original trilogy Mark Ordesky and Professor Tolkien’s great Grandson Royd Tolkien our story and thank them for being part of it. I updated my article “I Was A Movie Star Drywaller” to reflect my joy of being able to do so.

Took a breather for a couple months as we prepped for our next adventure.  Meeting my idol Carrie Fisher.  I had planned for years what I would say to her when I met her. I would first tell her how I used to daydream that she was my mom, then I would thank her for her work on mental health awareness and then finally I would give her Buff Beads and tell her how happy I was that she was going to be on screen again. I am told that I said all that, but I have hardly any memory of it. The next day at the photo op when I saw she was wearing the Buff Beads I gave her, I became a blubbering mess. I remember that clearly.

May was my sister’s Bachelorette party weekend, where we learned that Abby and I are kind of badass’ with a bow.

In June the sun came out and with the encouragement of my web hosting/designer friend BuffBeads.ca was launched.

Matthew got to hang with the big boys when he stayed with Josh during our weekend trip to Kelowna.

August 1st we packed up our little Pontiac Wave and David, Abby and I drove 2682 km to Minnesota where we spent the week with two out of three of David’s kids. If that wasn’t exciting enough, we made a detour and I finally was able to see the infamous Devil’s Tower in person.

A mere four days after returning from our seven state road trip, my sister and her fiance stood at the altar and performed the “Spit Shake” promising their undying love to each other. I was thrilled to be part of their day and excited that I was wearing a dress that David had made for me.

September was when David and I went on our vacation. It was meant to be a scouting mission to find “our people” and perhaps a new place to call home. Many of our teachers lived in Maui, including my teacher the late Doctor Wayne Dyer. I thought without a doubt, that Maui was a magical place where people alike found their purpose. Once again, my expectations bit me in the ass. The trip was certainly a life changing experience, but not in the way I thought it would be. Maui is indeed a magical place where people do come searching for meaning and purpose, but a lot of those people are still searching. After a few bouts of tears and a couple minor breakdowns, I realized that all the answers I had been searching for were within me. I didn’t need anymore self-help books, quotes or videos, because that’s what I had been doing for the last 5 years. It was time for me to start using what I’ve learned. I began writing “Looking For Group” which showcases the problems faced by people who don’t fit entirely into one category or another. People whose interest range from Lao Tzu to Star Wars (If you understand the connection between these two things, we need to be friends). I did not find what I thought I would in Maui, but I came home sunburned, stronger, with more confidence and more answers than I had before I left.

October, I surprised David by buying a ticket to accompany him on a business trip he was dreading. Which actually worked out for both of us. He got me as company and I got to see my stepson and sit out in the desert sun for a day and a half.

It’s funny how quick the weather changes in October. Sunshine and heat in the early part of the month and rain and dark come the end. October, November and December kick my ass every year. My body goes into hibernation and every ounce of motivation is sucked out of me. The last three months has been a blur. I turned 39,  Abby turned 16, our friend Megan has been visiting, The Force Awakens came out, Christmas happened, we got a new car. Life has just been happening around me as I seemed to just stand here and watch it unfold. But, with the Holiday’s near over, my energy is returning. The fog has lifted and the reflecting of the year has made me happy.

After being sick for the majority of my adult life, I am satisfied that I took full advantage of the opportunities that arose this year. 2016 is looking to be not any different. This January we fly to the Philippines. My baby brother Jackson will marry his fiance Carmella in front of a beautiful blended family of Filipino’s and Canadians. This will be the biggest adventure we have ever been on and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t freaked out a bit. I almost said no. I almost made excuses up that would have been completely valid. But, after my experience in Maui I realized I would be doing a disservice to the Universe and to my soul if I began my year by passing up on this new adventure put before me.

“We often miss opportunity because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like work”
— Thomas A. Edison

Happy New Year beautiful people!  Much love and happy adventuring you beautiful souls!

Namaste.

Ding! Level 39!

 

In the game of life yesterday I hit level 39.  Some little souls won’t ever have the opportunity to play at this level and that’s why today November 7th, I’m participating in Extra Life.  The 24 hour gaming marathon that is raising money to go to Children Miracle Networks throughout North America.  I am the leader of team #BuffYourself and we are playing for our chosen Children’s hospital. The hospital that I’m playing for is BC Children’s Hospital in Vancouver.  Please help me reach my personal goal of $200 by donating.  Each $5 donation will be put in a draw for some Legend of Zelda themed Buff Beads. *Drawing to be held Sunday, November 8th at 10 pm pst.

You can watch us play a random assortment of games throughout the day and night here on Twitch.

Thank you all so much for the love and support that I have felt throughout level 38!  I’m so excited to begin level 39 with such a fantastic bang! Much much love!

 

 

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Thanks for being here with us and for continuing to spread the message of self-love.

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Divine Grace

Grace is the ultimate Buff.

With grace comes, forgiveness, joy, compassion, strength, love, wisdom, peace...

With grace you feel at one with your higher-self, with God, with The Tao.

What is the easiest path to Grace?

“When we express gratitude grace responds.” – Deepak Chopra

Gratitude opens us up to grace.

Getting gratitude down is not an easy endeavor.  It’s more than saying thanks for the food.

It’s looking past pain, loss, tragedy and lack and joyfully proclaiming gratitude for what you have.

It takes getting really quiet with yourself and looking at what you have.

We were created by divinity and we are nothing short of it ourselves.  It is in us to experience all the joys that come with grace.

Mantra: “Kripa Hum” – I am divine grace

 

 

Get the Ultimate Buff Beads.  Grace Buff Beads are on The Buff Beads Store for a limited time.

http://buffbeads.ca/shop/grace-buff-beads/DSC01512

Don’t Pole Vault Over Mouse Turds.

treeandpot3

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Don’t pole vault over mouse turds.

Just pick it up and throw it away.

Yes it’s gross.

Just grab a tissue and pick it up.

You don’t need to call your friends over to see it. Why?

Oh great, now you are all standing around talking about how revolting it is. That was unnecessary. Do you feel better? You still need to clean it up, does it help having your friends around telling you how gross it is? If they were really your friends they would help you.

Yes everyone is leaving. They don’t want to talk about your crap anymore. It reminded them that they have their own shit to deal with. Some of it bigger than yours.

Now you’re alone with it and you’re walking away from it. You’re just going to ignore it? And is everyone you allow in going to ignore it too?

You’re not going to let anyone in.

Well, that’s lonely. Are you going to be okay living with it? You’ll see it all the time and it will attract bugs and start to smell. Ooooh wine…

Well the wine was great and we had a blast, but it’s morning and that piece of poo is still there. You going to clean it up now? Wait. When did you start smoking pot? You can’t just keep yourself numb you’re going to need to deal with it. It’s right where you can see it.

What are you doing with the box? You’re going to just cover it up? I see. The box is a little glaringly obvious though isn’t it?

Oh that’s a pretty table cloth and candelabra. No one will know there’s feces under all that beautification except you. Isn’t it kind of awkward and in the way?

Yes, I guess it would take work to clean up. More than the initial piece of toilet paper. And you’re okay with knowing what’s really beneath the nice things?

Alright well, if you’re at peace with that. See ya around.

10 years later…

Oh hey there! Great to see you. Are those your kids? What a beautiful family you have. You’re looking a little worn out though. You alright?

Oh you still have the box hiding that piece of mouse turd. That must have been hard to maintain over the years. I see it’s been knocked around a bit, but you’ve gone to a lot of work to keep it hidden.

That’s some really nice stuff you’ve put on and around it. Scented candles, flowers and happy pictures of you and your family…you sure you don’t want to move everything and just clean it up?

You do look really busy, it is definitely a lot of work now and yes everyone will see that the box and all your beautiful things are missing. Wouldn’t you feel so free of the burden?

You’re doing alright? Okay, friend hang in there.

Another decade goes by. I go into the house now quiet and calm. The box is beautifully encrusted with gems and is glorious and radiant. My old friend is beside it in a heap on the floor. She’s silently sobbing.

Hey, what’s wrong?

Your box IS very beautiful.

You do have many nice things all around it. Why are you so sad?

Ah! Yes, there is mouse turd under all of it.

Keeping it a secret has been hard on you. You must be tired. Are you ready to be rid of it?

It IS a lot of work and must seem overwhelming to you.

Yes, people will discover the truth and you may lose some friends, but you have people who love you. Some of them may already know you have a secret and don’t care. You are not alone.

It will take work to break down the box and it will have to be done by you alone, but you don’t need to BE alone.

Yes, I will sit with you.

She began to take apart the box. The lovely things she had placed on the box most recently were covering things that weren’t so lovely to her anymore. Layer upon layer were items that during a time had been used in an attempt to forget about what was hiding under the box. Some of it was painfully embarrassing and I would comfort her as she cried out in pain. Other things we came across made us laugh. How was bedazzling even a thing?

Eventually we came to the box. With shaking hands she lifted the last barrier between us and the 20 year secret that had caused her so much pain. For a moment neither of us could breathe.

She sat back with a sigh looked over at me and said,

“THAT’S what I’ve been hiding for 20 years?”

I smiled, handed her a piece of tissue and without another word she picked up the turd and flushed it down the toilet.

She invited over friends and family to dance with her in the free space. Some were uncomfortable and left. For they were envious of her freedom and did not want to deal with their own turd. Some left because seeing her joy and freedom inspired them to get their crap together. The rest of them stayed and danced the night away. For unknowingly most had known her secret all along and hadn’t cared. After all, it really wasn’t well hidden. Most aren’t. No matter how hard you try, boxes covering secrets are most often transparent and really not worth the effort of making pretty. Mistakes are made and shit happens. It’s best to clean it up right away when it does.

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“Don’t “pole-vault over mouse turds” – by the time you’ve discussed the many options available to you, the problem itself could have been long behind you had you simply disposed of those rodent droppings with a simple tissue and dumped them into the garbage!”–Wayne Dyer, Change Your Thoughts. Change Your Life.