The Road Goes Ever On

I will be shutting down Advice Over Pie and focusing solely on Buff Beads and a sister project.

The foundation of AOP and the path it has created is beautiful and raw, but it comes from pain. It’s roots are deep in suffering. I was sick with Ulcerative Colitis and tortured by my past.
I am not that person anymore.

Grace warms me and by remaining connected to my source the ego is kept at bay.

I am healthy and mentally strong.  Memories of the past that shamed and tortured my mind and sickened my body no longer haunt me. But, there are many that are suffering the effects of a lack of self-worth and destructive self-talk. And I want to empower them and I want to be empowered.

I want to help people see their inner strength and beauty and I want to be reminded of mine.

I love to see those who fail get back up and try again. I get a rush from watching people better themselves, because it reminds me to continue to do the same.

I LOOOVE those of you who own your shit. Oh my god! It turns me on. Vulnerability is friggin’ hot. It fills me with courage and inspires me to do what I love and to be myself no matter how scary it is.

I want to build a powerful group of misfit people who don’t really fit anywhere, but want to better themselves and spread love throughout a crazy dark world.

I just can’t do it from Advice Over Pie.

Buff Beads isn’t going anywhere. I believe so hard core in the power of buffing that I will be preaching the positive effects of self-talk and love forever and always. This is my truth. Please join us there and like the Buff Beads fb page.

Thank you all very much for all the support and the love. You’ve allowed me to be vulnerable and awkward as I made my way through painful gauntlet of healing and awakening.

UGH! That’s so dramatic!
I’m feeling quite melancholy about this. I’m not sure why. I feel like this is what Advice Over Pie does to me. It’s like my writing has this tone that screams “I’m suffering!” or one that is yelling at you guys to “better yourself for fuck’s sake”.  I wanna shed both those tones. Or not so dramatic like anyway. Or maybe MORE dramatic where it’s so obvious it’s dramatic it makes you laugh.
I am really excited about what is to come. I am creating a new path. This time I’m not alone.

To say goodbye to AOP in her emo melancholy, I’m going to post on FB old writings from start to finish. You’re not obligated to read them. In fact it’s probably best you don’t. It’s kind of embarrassing, but It’s a way for me to let it go and say good bye.

I love you!!

Geek Wisdom

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I had never read Lord of the Rings before I saw the movie. From the moment it began I was in awe. I sat mesmerized for an hour until my 7 year got sick and I left to do a half fast vom clean up. I made in back in time to see this scene between Gandalf and Frodo.

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

His words made me cry for a long time after the movie was over. To me it was Gandalf answering a question that I had long been asking. It was up to me to decide what to do with the time that was given. And I did decide. My decisions were not always the right ones and may have been a little out of control, but nonetheless I did something with my time. And here I am.

Life is good.  Just need to find that happy medium between taking control and going with the flow.

A Little Ditty

I wanted share with you this memory that came up on my personal Facebook account. It’s a fabulous fun memory and a great “How’d you two meet?” story. Our tale is a reminder for me to be thankful for my past. The good and all that bad. If it hadn’t gone exactly as it did we would have never met and our lives would not be as they are now. (Debating on where to hang our new Sauron picture while drinking Caesar’s on a Saturday afternoon.) Life is good.

Please have faith my sweet friends. Move with the flow of the Universe through your pain and through your joy. Trust that you are worthy of the great things ahead and that you are so very loved.

 

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The Two Best Words You May Ever Hear.

Me Too.

How glorious it is to hear those two words!

I started Advice Over Pie because I was feeling incredibly lonely with my experiences. It took awhile. My attempts to make friends and be vulnerable was a little much for some.

I don’t recommend using “shame” in the same sentence as “nice to meet you.”

When I found I was scaring people away I began to attempt to warm up to people. This turned into a lot of fitting in and less belonging.

I allowed myself to be patient  and choosy with whom I told my story. I continued to write here regardless of whether the article was being read knowing that it would get to whom it needed to. Eventually others on similar paths began to come out of the word work. I found friends and ally’s where I never expected to. I am now feeling an abundance of love and understanding daily.

I cannot express what it means to me those of you whom have shared your stories or have said those two beautiful words to me. I consider each and every one of you my friends.

Never pass up and opportunity to say “Me too”.  You may never know the value of those words to another.

I Love you.

CSLewisFriendship

Stop Hitting Yourself

Have you ever had someone take your hand and then forcefully start beating you in the face with it? It’s a very unnatural and unpleasant feeling, not to mention it really hurts. We’re not meant to hurt ourselves with our own limbs and we’re not meant to hurt ourselves with our own words or thoughts.

I worked and lived with a woman who made my life miserable. She showed kindness and compassion to everyone she came across, but she loved to pick on me. Any mistake I made I was told how stupid I was. She knew all my secrets and loved to remind me of my most shameful memories. She was relentless in making me feel undeserving off all the greatness in my life. As soon as I got up in the morning she was there telling me I was lazy because I didn’t get up earlier to work out. She was sweet as pie to everyone else, yet she made me feel unworthy, unlovable and made me sick. This beast of a woman wasn’t a co-worker, spouse, sibling or parent, she was me.

How would it feel to know that others could hear your self-talk? Would you allow someone to speak to you the way you speak to yourself?
By becoming aware of the quality of our words we can change how we see ourselves and ultimately how others see us. Positive words whether to yourself or to another lead to a positive self-worth.
Treat yourself with the kindness and compassion as you would any other. Be aware of the words the follow “I am”. They are very powerful.

Buff Beads are a simple reminder to be aware of your self-talk. They are used as a reminder of the importance of treating ourselves with the same respect as we would another. Buff Beads are a tool used in every day life to be sure that we are treating the most important person to us (ourselves) with the up most respect.

Buff Yourself!

My friend myself

Our Star Studded Adventure Filled 2015

“Sometimes, we are so attached to our way of life that we turn down wonderful opportunities simply because don’t know what to do with it.”
— Paulo Coelho 

I can without a doubt say that 2015 was my busiest, healthiest, most adventurous year of my life. 

This year I learned that adventures are adventures because there are unknowns.Opportunities arise that are not ideal, but may contain potential adventures. If I’m putting out to The Universe my desires for great feelings and fun then I better damn well jump on every opportunity that arises. I’ve been a spoiled child of God for too long. Crying and whining that my life isn’t the way I want it and then when change arises to make good things happen I would resist it and freak out because of the temporary discomfort. My soul wants adventure and this year was full of it.

2015 began with a whirlwind mother daughter Disneyland adventure in January.

On the plane to one adventure with Abby, David told me that he had just planned us another. He just purchased tickets to TheOneRing.net annual Lord of The Rings Oscar Party in just three weeks time. It would be a once in a lifetime opportunity to meet those involved in the making of the films. It was to be another quick trip to Los Angeles. Second one in less than a month. But, five hours before our star studded event, we received a call that David’s 94 year old father had passed away.  Our trip was extended for a week as David’s parents lived only an hour and half from LA.

My father in law was one of the greatest men on this planet. I am blessed to have gotten to know him. I spent hours watching The Price is Right with him and listening to his stories of gambling off the coast of Los Angeles with Bugsy Siegel before he was born again and became one of the first missionaries to visit New Guinea. The man had so many adventures and was a beautiful spirit.

Our Oscar party was a blur. It wouldn’t be the first time this year that my expectations would nearly ruin an experience.  We had gone fully believing that we would be amongst our people. Fellow lovers of the film and of Professor Tolkien’s work. I believed that we would leave with new life long friends and a feeling of belonging. I can’t fully explain to you what it was like, because I’m still processing it a year later. Maybe it was the news of my father in laws death just hours before or maybe it was the Middle Earth New Zealand wine, but it was not what we had expected.

But, I would not have changed that experience. We were able to tell both the Producer of the original trilogy Mark Ordesky and Professor Tolkien’s great Grandson Royd Tolkien our story and thank them for being part of it. I updated my article “I Was A Movie Star Drywaller” to reflect my joy of being able to do so.

Took a breather for a couple months as we prepped for our next adventure.  Meeting my idol Carrie Fisher.  I had planned for years what I would say to her when I met her. I would first tell her how I used to daydream that she was my mom, then I would thank her for her work on mental health awareness and then finally I would give her Buff Beads and tell her how happy I was that she was going to be on screen again. I am told that I said all that, but I have hardly any memory of it. The next day at the photo op when I saw she was wearing the Buff Beads I gave her, I became a blubbering mess. I remember that clearly.

May was my sister’s Bachelorette party weekend, where we learned that Abby and I are kind of badass’ with a bow.

In June the sun came out and with the encouragement of my web hosting/designer friend BuffBeads.ca was launched.

Matthew got to hang with the big boys when he stayed with Josh during our weekend trip to Kelowna.

August 1st we packed up our little Pontiac Wave and David, Abby and I drove 2682 km to Minnesota where we spent the week with two out of three of David’s kids. If that wasn’t exciting enough, we made a detour and I finally was able to see the infamous Devil’s Tower in person.

A mere four days after returning from our seven state road trip, my sister and her fiance stood at the altar and performed the “Spit Shake” promising their undying love to each other. I was thrilled to be part of their day and excited that I was wearing a dress that David had made for me.

September was when David and I went on our vacation. It was meant to be a scouting mission to find “our people” and perhaps a new place to call home. Many of our teachers lived in Maui, including my teacher the late Doctor Wayne Dyer. I thought without a doubt, that Maui was a magical place where people alike found their purpose. Once again, my expectations bit me in the ass. The trip was certainly a life changing experience, but not in the way I thought it would be. Maui is indeed a magical place where people do come searching for meaning and purpose, but a lot of those people are still searching. After a few bouts of tears and a couple minor breakdowns, I realized that all the answers I had been searching for were within me. I didn’t need anymore self-help books, quotes or videos, because that’s what I had been doing for the last 5 years. It was time for me to start using what I’ve learned. I began writing “Looking For Group” which showcases the problems faced by people who don’t fit entirely into one category or another. People whose interest range from Lao Tzu to Star Wars (If you understand the connection between these two things, we need to be friends). I did not find what I thought I would in Maui, but I came home sunburned, stronger, with more confidence and more answers than I had before I left.

October, I surprised David by buying a ticket to accompany him on a business trip he was dreading. Which actually worked out for both of us. He got me as company and I got to see my stepson and sit out in the desert sun for a day and a half.

It’s funny how quick the weather changes in October. Sunshine and heat in the early part of the month and rain and dark come the end. October, November and December kick my ass every year. My body goes into hibernation and every ounce of motivation is sucked out of me. The last three months has been a blur. I turned 39,  Abby turned 16, our friend Megan has been visiting, The Force Awakens came out, Christmas happened, we got a new car. Life has just been happening around me as I seemed to just stand here and watch it unfold. But, with the Holiday’s near over, my energy is returning. The fog has lifted and the reflecting of the year has made me happy.

After being sick for the majority of my adult life, I am satisfied that I took full advantage of the opportunities that arose this year. 2016 is looking to be not any different. This January we fly to the Philippines. My baby brother Jackson will marry his fiance Carmella in front of a beautiful blended family of Filipino’s and Canadians. This will be the biggest adventure we have ever been on and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t freaked out a bit. I almost said no. I almost made excuses up that would have been completely valid. But, after my experience in Maui I realized I would be doing a disservice to the Universe and to my soul if I began my year by passing up on this new adventure put before me.

“We often miss opportunity because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like work”
— Thomas A. Edison

Happy New Year beautiful people!  Much love and happy adventuring you beautiful souls!

Namaste.

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

A photo posted by JessiePie (@adviceoverpie) on

Being positive and thinking happy thoughts is challenging. Sometimes it feels easier to just say “Eff it!” and wallow in self pity. But, I have spent time on the negative side of life where everything was heavy and I thought the world was against me, and I have to tell ya, it’s better here on the lighter side where sometimes shit happens, but generally life is good. I see challenges and change as the universe moving and shifting me towards my goals and desires. I move with the flow and allow the current to guide me and trust in the goodness and love of the universe.

Well, not all the time. Sometimes I get wrapped up in the drama and I succumb to the worldly thoughts and fears. When I take a moment though to breath and meditate it all comes back to me. I realign with my higher self and I find my peace again. It’s all practice. Constant practice. But that’s what being human is about. Experiencing the world while staying connected to the source.

Instincts

What happens to animals who are locked away in zoo’s unable to respond to their natural instincts? Notice the similarities between that and what happens to us when we live a life out of obligation and fear. Ignoring our own wants and desires. We get depressed, we get sick and we die young. Beautiful people! Quit suppressing your instincts and true nature. Learn to connect to your higher self. Feel the difference between acting through spirit and acting through ego. Notice the peace that comes when you connect with your source. Recognize the joy that you get when you are listening to your instincts. Your true nature. Your higher self. Don’t be afraid. All that matter is being who you are and experiencing the life that you came here to live.  You are a soul here for a human experience. Don’t let yourself down. Be who you are meant to be.  Listen.

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